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Prom season is here! Magazines, websites and
well-meaning-but-crazy family members have been preparing girls for this
magical dance for years, ensuring that prom is second only to a wedding in
terms of a young woman's self-worth. How exciting!
Such a grand occasion calls for just the right dress --
something classy yet memorable, unique but age appropriate. Unfortunately, the prom dresses websites we've
researched have terrible grammar and cater only to future escorts who have crackwhores
for moms. Where are the pastel cupcake dresses fromFootloose or
the black taffeta number that bothBrenda and Kelly wore on Beverly
Hills 90210? But perhaps we're jaded and aren't seeing these gowns with
clear eyes. Maybe we need a dose of reality from someone who's lived through
two tantrum-prone girls clamoring to grow up too fast.
Enter our mother Marsha, a corn-fed Ohioan with good
taste and solid Midwestern values. We showed Mom a few dresses and asked if we
could wear them to prom. Boy, did she
Site description: "This
Sexy Dress showcases a sweetheart neckline and an incredibly fitted corset with
exposed boning. Intricate Stones on Bodice sparkle unbelievably! This Sherri
Hill Dress 2900 is fabulous for a New Years Dress, Party Dress, or Social
Occasion Dress. Complete this look with Fierce Bracelets, a Cocktail Ring, and Sexy Heels.
$850."
[All dress descriptions are directly
from the website and have not been edited.]
Our take: It's a bit
tiny, but we think it's got a little more potential than the next few dresses.
Besides, shiny black film strips and colorful rhinestones suit our personality.
Mom's take: Dear
God. [Dramatic pause]Allison, it looks hoochie. Look how far it
goes up!
Are we allowed to wear it to prom? No.
2. Jasz Couture Dress 4701
Site description: "Shopping
for the perfect Little Black Dress? Look no further than this Jasz Couture
Dress 4701. This Sexy Dress showcases an intricately beaded sweetheart
neckline, fitted silhouette, and side midriff cutouts embellished with
rhinestones. Accessorize this Dress with Rhinestone Earrings, a Statement Cuff,
and Black Heels. This Black Dress is fantastic for a Homecoming Dress, Winter Formal Dresses, or Social
Occasion Dress. 2012 Jasz Couture Homecoming Dresses. $258."
Our take: "Sexy"
means leaving a little to the imagination, right? That's exactly what this
dress does, as the side straps show off our supple tanned flesh without being
too revealing.
Mom's take: Maybe if
it wasn't cut out on the sides. I don't think the back is that bad, though.
They sure wear goofy stuff to prom now.
Are we allowed to wear it to prom? No.
3. Short Form-Fitting Black Dress
Site description: "Short
sheer black dress. $49."
Our take: This basic
tank dress has a great shape. It looks a little like a wetsuit, and classy
leather circles are hiding the boobs. Plus it's rated four out of five crowns
and is only $49 onpromgirl.com. Cheap!
Mom's take: That looks
like Spanx! Cripes, it's even too tight for her, look at her hips! There
are no redeeming qualities on this one.
Are we allowed
to wear it to prom? No.
If you dare your mother don’t approve these
kinds of prom dresses recommend above, maybe you can choose a little
conservative one. This Strapless Sweetheart Beaded Tulle Ball Gown prom / EveningDress having this year popular color-blue and what’s more, exactitude’s
ball gown with floor length surely meet your mother’s heart and won’t out of
the fashion trends.
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